3. MARY ELLEN

Andy's move to the ranch quickly proved successful for everyone involved. Andy still had a lot of sadness to deal with, but youth is more resilient than age, and the freedom of the ranch was just what he needed to speed the process along. He and Mel soon reached a mutually agreed on level of "mothering." (Somewhat surprising, they both opted for "quite a bit.") He did a lot of fishing - sometimes with Seth, sometimes with Jack, and sometimes together (although the latter arrangement was often accompanied by a certain amount of male competition). Mel came along regularly, although the men tried to discourage her because she was usually more successful catching fish than they were. All in all, things were going very well.

   One day when Seth was in town, the sheriff asked if he had a few minutes to talk. He did, so they retired to the jail. The sheriff quickly came to the point.

   "I understand Andy Tremont is living with you since his parents died."

   "He is. I talked it over with the O'Briens when I first heard about his situation, and we agreed he would do better living out on a ranch - like he's done all his life - rather than living at the orphanage. He's doing very well. You know that the Davidsons are with me, too, so that makes a good little group."

   "Well, that sounds fine. What I wanted to talk to you about is his parents' property. It's quite a nice little ranch. Apparently, Andy was their only family, so - when he comes of age - everything is his. In the meantime, we need somebody to take charge. The town can't afford a caretaker like we did at your place. I've been sending my men out there regularly, just to see that nobody's squatting there, or nothing is getting damaged, but we can't keep doing that. Oh, by the way, the only livestock they had - a milk cow and two horses - are here in town at the livery stable. It hasn't been any big expense keeping them, but we should get them another home."

     Seth took a few moments to collect his thoughts. "I'm planning to keep Andy with me for as long as he wants - which I hope will be until he's old enough to be on his own. I'm sort of his unofficial guardian. Would it be possible to put everything in his name, with me as his representative until he comes of age?"

   "I'd have to check at the courthouse to be sure, but that sounds like a good, easy solution."

   "I'll talk to Andy, but I think that will be fine with him. As far as looking after the place, we can take on that chore. I suspect Andy would  probably like to go over there some, maybe bring some of his belongings back with him. I can take the cow and horses back home with me."

   "Well, that all sounds real good. We solve some problems, and save the town a little money in the process."

   Back at the ranch, Seth shared the plan with Andy, Mel and Jack. It  sounded fine to everyone. Andy hadn’t been home since his parents' death, and hadn't even thought about it. Now, he was anxious to go, mostly just to get back in contact with the place where he had spent his whole life, but also to collect some of his personal belongings.

     Next day, Seth and Andy took the farm wagon, and rode to Andy's home ranch. It obviously was the right thing to do, as Andy quickly immersed himself in his former life. (After that, Andy frequently rode to the ranch by himself, and just took a few hours doing minor chores and spending time in his room. It clearly was good therapy for him.)  

***

    One day, Andy had taken the wagon to town to pick up supplies, a job he frequently did. As he was leaving, he heard a woman seeking a ride to an out-of-the-way ranch. As it wouldn't be much of a detour from his own route, he offered his services. She accepted.

   Andy loaded her luggage into the wagon. She introduced herself as Mrs. Schilling, and her daughter (about five years old) as "Rissa." "Her given name is actually Clarissa. I don't know how she became 'Rissa,' rather than 'Clara' or 'Claire,' but that's what happened." She hugged her daughter, who had remained silent, so far. "I like her by any of those names."

   Andy smiled at the little girl. "I like them all, but I think I like 'Rissa' best. Say, I guess you know how bad a wagon ride can feel on your body. The most comfortable place is up on the seat with me. I think we can all fit, if we squeeze together a little bit." They did.

   They rode along, mostly in silence, but Andy thought Mrs. Schilling was studying him rather closely. He asked if something was wrong. She laughed. "No. I'm sorry if I was staring. It's just that you remind me very much of a boy I knew when he was about your age. Something about your face, and maybe the little smiles you give."

   He gave her one of the little smiles. "Did you like this boy?"

   She laughed out loud. "Yes, I did - very, very much!"

   "Was he Rissa's father?"

   Her smile had turned a little sad, he thought. "No, that was all a long time ago. I hadn't seen him for years when I married Rissa's father. Her father - my husband - died just recently. As we didn't have any other family where we were living, we decided to come home."

   "You're coming home? I thought maybe you were just here for a visit."

   "No, I was born and raised here. Before I married, I was Mary Ellen Schuler, and I lived here with my parents, My father is dead now, but my mother lives here still, and I thought it would be nice for Rissa to grow up in her grandmother's house. I think I'm going to be happy to be  home, too."

    At the ranch, as Andy was unloading the luggage, Mrs. Schuler came out, and was introduced. Rissa gave him a shy smile, but still didn't speak. Mrs. Schilling - Mary Ellen - offered to pay him for the ride, but he politely declined. "It wasn't far out of my way," he explained, again.

***

   "You're a little  later than usual," Seth observed, when Andy got home. "No trouble, was there?"

   "Nope."

   "Did you stop under a big tree, and take a nap?"

   "Nope, but I did take a little detour." He explained about taking Mrs. Schilling and her daughter to her mother's house. "It's not very far from here, so it didn't take too much more time. I thought at first that they were just visiting, but then she told me she had grown up there, and was just coming home after being away for a long time."

   Seth was trying to picture his various neighbors. "It's funny, but I can't recall any Schillings around here."

   "Well, maybe you wouldn't, because that's her married name. Her name was Schuler - Mary Ellen Schuler."

      Seth felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, and he just stared at Andy for a moment. "Mary Ellen? Are you sure?"

   Andy gave him an odd look, then laughed. "Do you think I would make up a name like that? She is Mary Ellen Schilling. Her husband died recently, and she was bringing her daughter Rissa to live with Rissa's grandmother, Mrs. Schuler, who is also Mary Ellen's mother."

   Seth was regaining some of his composure. "Sorry, Andy. I didn't mean to sound like I didn't believe you. It was just quite unexpected." He smiled, as his mind began to picture all kinds of possibilities. "So, Ellie's home."

   "Ellie, is it? That makes it sound like you might know this woman."

   Seth let out a laugh. "Know her? Yes, I suppose I do. We were best friends until she was fifteen. I was pretty sure I was going to marry her, one day."

   "So, what happened?" Andy asked.

   "Just Life, I guess. I had to go away. It turned out to be much, much longer than we could have imagined. When I finally got home, she was gone."

   "Bad luck! However, she's back now."

   "Yes, she is. I have been thinking about that."

***

      The next day, Seth had Andy ride with him to the Schuler ranch. "I have a special task for  you, Andrew my boy. When we get near  the house, I want you to go ahead of me. Whoever comes to the door, say to them 'my friend Seth wants to know if Mary Ellen can come out to play.' Then, we'll see what happens."

   Andy looked dubious. "You want me to ask Mrs. Schilling to come out and play?"

   "Well, you won't be asking her. You'll just be relaying a question from me."

   Andy shook his head. "You're a very strange adult, Seth. I'm not sure you're really old enough to be my guardian, or whatever you are."

   "We'll discuss that, later. Will you do this for me, now?"

   "Oh, sure. It won't be me that gets sent to the insane asylum."

   They stopped the wagon just out of sight of the house, and Andy went up to the door. Mrs. Schuler answered his knock. "Oh, hello again. It's Andy, right? Can I help you with something?"

   "Yes, please. I have a rather weird message to deliver. Here it is: My friend Seth wants to know if Mary Ellen can come out to play?"

   Mary Ellen, herself, along with Rissa, came out of the house just as Andy was finishing, so didn't hear the message. Rissa walked directly to Andy, and held onto his shirt sleeve. He gently reached down, loosed her hold on the shirt, and transferred her hand to his own. "Is everything okay, Mother?" Mary Ellen asked.

   Her mother smiled. "Oh, I think so - a little strange, but I think definitely okay. You remember Andy, of course?"

   "Sure. Hi, Andy. What's going on?"

   "Andy was delivering a message. He said - and I'll try to quote it as accurately as possible - 'My friend Seth wants to know if Mary Ellen came come out to play'."

   Mary Ellen looked bewildered. Andy nodded to her, and indicated the way down the drive to the wagon. She started running in that direction.

   "I assume we are talking about Seth McPherson?" Mrs. Schuler asked.

   "Yep. He told me a little about him and 'Ellie.' I guess they knew each other pretty well?"

   "Very well. They were best friends until she was fifteen. They should have been sweethearts, and probably should have married."

   "What happened?"

   Mrs. Schuler gave a sad little shake of her head. "Fate just played a couple of mean tricks on them." She changed the conversation. "How do you happen to be with Seth?"

   "My parents both died in the last influenza outbreak, and I didn't have any other relatives, so had to go to the orphanage. I'm still officially assigned there, but Seth  and Mr. and Mrs. O'Brien worked out a deal where I could live on the ranch. It's worked out good, I think, for both of us. He's a good man."

   "He always has been."

***

      Just out of their sight, Mary Ellen had thrown herself into Seth's arms, without even checking to see if it really was him. From his reaction returning her hug, it was clear he appreciated her spontaneity. Neither said anything very meaningful After a bit, Seth stepped  a little away, and did a quick survey.

   "Miss Mary Ellen, I believe you have growed up."

   She giggled, happily. "Yes, I believe I have. I don't know about you, though. Your brain may still be back in grade school - 'Can Ellie come out to play!' - but your looks certainly suggest an increased maturity. You have 'growed up,' too. I like the look."

   "Well, if I didn't make it clear in my awe-struck state - for which I am still happily suffering - I find your growed-up look especially enchanting."

   "Thank you, but I think the way you're looking at me makes your feelings quite clear."

   They both began to laugh. "So, what do you do now?" asked Seth.

   "Probably go back to the house, and assure them I wasn't eaten by a bear. After that... "

   "Look, Ellie, I know it's been a long time apart, and maybe we can't be best friends, again. I hope we can. There's a lot I want you to know about when I left, and I want to hear about you. Would you be willing to spend a couple of hours with me soon, and just catch up?"

   She didn't hesitate. "Seth, I feel like we are still best friends. We just need to fill in some blanks in our histories. So, yes, I would love to go someplace, and talk, just you and me."

***

   "We didn't hear the wagon leaving, so we assumed you didn't run off together," Ellie's mother began. "Hello, Seth. I think I may be as glad to see you as Ellie is."

   Seth came over, and stood by her. "Is it still acceptable for me to call you Mother Schuler?"

   A couple of tear drops appeared on her cheeks. "I would love that." He took her in his arms, and they held tightly to one another. "I'm so glad you found us, Seth," she whispered to his ear. "We really need you."

   After that, they didn't stay long, because Seth and Andy had some chores to do. Before they said their goodbyes, Ellie and Seth arranged to meet the next day to talk about "old times."

***

     The next day, just before noon, Seth appeared with his wagon, and Mary Ellen climbed aboard with a picnic lunch. They didn't drive far - just out along the river, where some big trees gave nice shade on what gave every indication of being a hot day. They took a short walk along the shore, interrupted several times by rock-skipping contests (Their skills were about equal). then returned to the wagon and relaxed on the grass.

   "I have some things I really want to tell you about our last time together," Seth began.

   "And I want to hear it, but I need to go first."

   "But I'm talking about really important things."

   "Well, my things are more important, right now."

   Seth was confused, and a little frustrated. "Ellie, you're acting like the fifteen year old girl that I knew long ago."

   "That's not true! Well, in a way, maybe it is, because what I'm thinking about is a fifteen year old girl who just shared a kiss - well, a bunch of kisses - with a boy that she loved. The kisses were wonderful - her first, ever, and his first, too. But, looking back, it has always seemed to me that there was business left unfinished. I'm talking about more kisses, in case you're not following me. I definitely don't want to 'finish' the business, but I want to take the next step, now."

   Seth felt stunned - well, actually he didn't know what he was feeling. It was certainly unexpected. "Ellie, that was over ten years ago. We haven't seen each other since then. You're a married woman, with a daughter. Hasn't everything changed?"

   "Seth, I was married, and we produced a daughter I love more than anything in the world. Obviously, I have kissed another man since we shared our firsts. I loved my husband a lot, we had a wonderful marriage. Still, I've been unable to forget - don't want to forget! - our long friendship, with its new addition. When I saw you yesterday, it took all my will power not to smother you with kisses. I want us to kiss, now - very badly. You want to, don't you?"

   "More than anybody could ever imagine! But I'm worried. What I have to tell you may be hard for you to hear. What if we've kissed, and then...?"

   "Seth, nothing you can say with change anything. Anyway, if it did, we could just un-kiss."

   "What are you talking about? You can't take back a kiss."

   "Yes, you can. You just repeat what you did to begin with, but then hold on to the kiss for as long as it takes for all of the feeling to retreat back into your heart and brain. Please, Seth, let's kiss, and worry about all that later."

   Seth found what she said illogically logical, and he was forgetting his objections, so they kissed. It lasted for some time. "That was unbelievable," Seth finally said. "I didn't think anything could ever top my memory of our first, and that definitely did! Thank you."

   "You're welcome. A little maturity, a little experience, and over a dozen years of longing certainly enhanced the experience for me, too. So, do you want to tell me what you had in mind?"

   "I don't think I can, for a minute."

   "Then, let's picnic." They did, although Seth spent more time staring at Ellie than he did eating. His mind still didn't want to believe what had just happened. Finally, he had his thought together enough to talk.

   "Ellie, when I left, it wasn't because of you, and it wasn't something that I wanted to do. I left because your father pointed a load shotgun at me, and told me that I was never to see you, again."

   "But that was before I knew..." Ellie stopped what she had started to say.

   "Before you knew...?" Seth prompted.

   She looked flustered. "Nothing. My mind got mixed up for a minute, and I was thinking it must have been because he knew we kissed. But that occurred afterward."

    "It didn't have anything to do with you and me, at least not in that sense. He was ranting about 'Yankee spies' and 'infiltrators' who were here to destroy the Southern way of life. He was convinced that I was one of those spies, and he wasn't going to let me near anyone in his household."

   "I think I know - on what he said to me and Mother later -  that he was talking about farming in the South depending on slavery."

   "I'm sure you're right, but it took me a while to understand it. I mean, this was a long time before the war started, and most people here weren't talking about slavery, or taking sides. That wasn't our problem, yet - well, except for your father, and maybe a few others.

     "I saw that, even if he calmed down some, it was going to be very difficult for you if I was around to keep his attention. Mostly, though, I was really scared. Nobody had ever pointed a gun at me, and I was pretty sure he would use it. I decided I had to leave, but I couldn't bear to leave without seeing you again. It was unfair of me, because I knew I was leaving, and I wasn't going to tell you. Of course, I never dreamed our last meeting would turn out how it did, which I'm sure made it even harder for you when you realized I was gone."

   She tried to smile, and held onto his arm. "It was hard. I was heart-broken. It had been so good - so unexpected! - but it turned out to be all there was."

   Seth put his hand over her hand. "I know, and I can say I'm sorry 100 times, but it doesn't change anything. I abandoned you when we needed each other the most.

   "It sounds a little lame and self-serving now, but I swear I meant to come back for you. I would have done it right away if you had been a little older, and if I had any way to support us. My plan - and it really was my plan - was to stop somewhere nearby, get a job, let you get a year older, and then come back and take you away, no matter what your father said or threatened. Suddenly, we were at war, I was a Union soldier, and every step I took for the duration of the war took me farther away from you. I managed to get one note to my parents just after I joined up, but then had no contact with anybody here at home until the war was over, I was being mustered out in Washington, D. C., when the Army informed me that my parents were dead. I  came back to settle up the family estate, hoping beyond hope that you would still be here, but knowing in my heart that you wouldn't be. You weren't."

   "No, I wasn't. A lot happened in my life after you disappeared."

   "Can you tell me about it?"

   "Yes, I'd like to. Well, it was hard enough that you had disappeared without a trace, but at home we were getting the full brunt of Father's rants about Yankees and slavery. He was getting worse and worse, and his words were getting more and more violent. He never harmed us, but Mother was convinced that he was going crazy, and could be a danger to us. One day when he was gone from the ranch, she gathered a few of our possessions, and we left the area. I don't think she had any idea where we were going - just away from him, and his ranting. We finally stopped in Syracuse, New York.

   "Syracuse is a nice town. It gets a lot more snow than we do here - because of something about the winds coming across the big lakes, I think - but winters don't feel anywhere as near as cold as us. Anyway, we weren't there for the weather, just for someplace safe to stop. Mother had brought most of the ranch cash with us, so we didn't need to worry about having what we needed. At various times, we both worked in shops for variety, and for a little extra money. Several years after we got there, I met David Schilling, who was a partner in a clothing store, and we eventually got married. It was nice. We loved each other, and we produced my darling Rissa, love of my life.

   "I didn't know that Mother had someone here that she corresponded with regularly. From that person, she learned that Father was very ill, and probably dying. They'd had a lot of good years together, and she still loved him, so she moved back here to take care of him. He was pretty far gone, both physically and mentally, and I guess didn't know who she was most of the time. She stayed until he died. Because this had always been home for her, she decided to stay, knowing that I was secure with my family in New York.

    "David had a serious heart problem. He'd known about it most of his life, but it was one of those situations where the doctors said he might live another 50 years, but he might die tomorrow. The latter proved truer. He had an attack, and was gone immediately. He had no kin in the area. We had made many friends, but nobody particularly special. Once I had taken care of his estate and business concerns, Rissa and I came home, too, to live with my mother.

   "So, here we are, all back where we belong."

***

     Before they started back to the ranch, they walked along the river, again. Seth thought Ellie seemed sad, or upset, and finally she asked him if they could sit and talk a minute. They found a large log to sit on.

   "Seth, I didn't tell you the whole story about what happened after you left. I knew I had to tell you, sometime - I want to tell you - but I don't know how you'll react, and I'm awfully happy right now. But it needs to all be said, so I'll take the chance. So, here goes. Seth, I had a baby before Rissa."

   He was surprised, but was interested. "What happened?"

   She hesitated. "It wasn't with my husband." That caught Seth's attention. "No, I wasn't unfaithful. It was long before David and I married."

   He felt a disappointment growing. "So, it was..."

   "It was with a boy I loved very much. We didn't plan it - didn't think we'd even done anything to cause it - and the boy never knew that he was a father."

   Now, Seth was quite confused. "Then, how..."

   Ellie interrupted him. "Seth, the boy I loved - the only one besides David who I have ever loved - it's you. Seth, my baby was your baby."

    That lost him, completely. "But, we never... I would never...I mean, you were only fifteen, and all we did was kiss!"

   She held on to his arm. "Not quite all. I don't know how much you remember, but our kisses got pretty exciting, and we got all tangled up together, and our clothes got all pulled up and.... Well, I've had a baby the more conventional way since then, and I know we didn't do - well, we didn't do what usually needs to be done. But my bare skin was against your bare skin pretty close to where... well, where it needed to be, and 'close enough' did the trick.

   "I know it seems crazy, Seth, but there was never anybody but you, and there was never any other chance but that one time."

   "No, I believe you, crazy as it sounds, and I'm feeling pretty happy to have made a baby with you, even if not in the 'more conventional way'."

   "Maybe we could do it right another time."

   That made him laugh. "That sounds nice, but let's get back to the first success. What happened to our baby?"

    She started to cry. "I don't know! He was taken from me just after he was born, and I never saw him, again."

   Seth took her in his arms, and let her cry a little longer. "Can you tell me what happened, Ellie?"

   She tried to compose herself. "Yes, I want to. I need to, but the whole thing is so sad, and so unfair. You were gone, and I didn't know why. I was feeling weak and sick, and I thought that you disappearing was the whole reason, until Mother and I figured out I was going to have a baby. That made me happy, but we were pretty sure that's not how my father would react. He was getting wilder and wilder in his talk about 'Yankee spies' in our area, and it was dawning on me that he was probably the reason you had gone. We kept my condition secret from him as long as we could, but when it became obvious, he went crazy. He knew the baby had to be yours - there wasn't any other possibility - and he started raving that he wasn't going to have any 'Yankee bastards' under his roof. You can imagine the stress this put on me, in my already weak condition!

   "I only had our son - I meant to call him 'Seth' - with me a few moments, when my father took him from me, and left the ranch. I never saw our baby, again. That was the last straw for me, and I think I was very close to going insane. When my father returned home without the baby, and wouldn't tell us what he'd done, I just fell apart. Mother was so worried about me that, when Father left the ranch for a day, she gathered up a few of our things, and took me away. She didn't leave any word on where we were going - well, she didn't really know - and I don't think Father ever tried to find us. When we got to Syracuse, she had some doctors look at me. Since the cause of my problems was obvious, they didn't have any suggested remedies, except to get my strength back up, and hope that my mental problems would gradually heal themselves. Mother didn't think they were very confident that I would recover. I did, but it was nearly a year before I was myself, again. Even then - well, even now! - I would have sad periods, thinking about our lost baby.

   "Well, after I was more or less well again, the rest of our time was as I've already told you."

   "My poor darling," Seth murmured, as he took her in his arms, again. "If only I had come back for you, as I planned."

   "The timing wasn't right, Seth. We're together now. Let's remember that."

 

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